Reclaiming the Reach: How Trauma Interrupts Our Basic Developmental Patterns
In the earliest moments of life, before words or logic, we learn through movement. One of the first sequences our nervous system masters is simple and profound: reach → grasp → pull → have. These motor patterns—explored deeply by somatic pioneer Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen—aren’t just about physical development. They’re also the foundation for how we engage with the world, form relationships, and heal.
But trauma changes everything.
When something interrupts these primal movements—neglect, betrayal, abuse, abandonment—it doesn’t just halt physical development. It can create deep psychological imprints that shape how we connect, ask, receive, and allow.
Reach: The Impulse to Connect
To reach is to desire. A baby reaches for a caregiver, for food, for connection. This impulse emerges from a place of curiosity and longing. In healthy development, this reach is met with responsiveness.
But in trauma, the reach is often ignored or punished.
“Stop needing so much.”
“Don’t cry.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
Over time, the reach contracts. We stop initiating. We stop expressing desire. We learn that longing is dangerous.
Grasp: Taking Hold
Grasping is about engaging. It’s the moment we make contact with what we want—whether that’s a bottle, a hand, or later, a dream or a boundary.
But trauma teaches us that grasping may lead to loss.
We may internalize beliefs like:
“If I take it, it might be taken away.”
“If I grasp too tightly, I’ll lose control.”
“I don’t deserve to hold anything good.”
Pull: Bringing In
Pulling is intimacy. It’s about bringing something or someone closer. In a regulated system, it’s how we receive and allow support. But if closeness once meant danger—such as in experiences of abuse or betrayal—the pull becomes terrifying.
Many trauma survivors subconsciously reject what they most long for:
Connection
Nourishment
Support
Because pulling close also means being vulnerable.
Have: Owning and Integrating
The final step is having—being able to hold what we’ve received. This is the space of satisfaction, embodiment, rest.
But trauma can fracture our ability to have. We may grasp and pull, only to sabotage, deflect, or numb what we’ve received. Having becomes unfamiliar, even unsafe.
Healing Through Movement
Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen’s Body-Mind Centering® approach invites us to revisit these early patterns—not through talk, but through sensation and movement.
Trauma healing often involves:
Relearning how to reach safely
Rebuilding trust to grasp without fear
Reconnecting to the body’s capacity to pull in without shutting down
Reclaiming our right to have, to rest, and to integrate
These aren’t just physical actions—they’re emotional and relational re-patternings.
The Satisfaction Cycle Restored
When we re-engage these developmental patterns, we begin to repair the rupture trauma caused. We learn that it’s okay to want. To try. To receive. To keep.
And perhaps most healing of all—we learn it’s okay to have.
To have love.
To have safety.
To have our own life.
These foundational motor patterns offer more than physical insight—they open doors to emotional awareness, nervous system regulation, and embodied healing. If you’re curious about how these patterns show up in your own life or how they might support your healing journey, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. You’re welcome to reach out through my contact page to explore what working together might look like.
References
Bainbridge Cohen, B. (2018). Sensing, Feeling, and Action: The Experiential Anatomy of Body-Mind Centering®. Contact Editions.
Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy. W. W. Norton & Company.
